Up to Speed

My mother sent me a hilarious document via the inn at which we're having our wedding. They called it "Getting Up to Speed" and asked such questions, as "Will you be tossing your garter?"

To which I said, "Absolutely not."

Nor will I be tossing the bouquet or cutting the cake. We will not be "announced," though the inn didn't actually ask us this.

I did give them our "DJ's" phone number. I hope they don't actually call him. He's not really a DJ. He's my brother's friend who's into music and has a pretty stacked iPod.

I can't wait for the final response to the request for a family-style meal. They might think it's not happening, but it's happening.