Dress Shopping II: Um, Found It?

B. the fashion designer friend accompanied me to Adrienne's on Saturday evening. B. was the one who discovered the vintage lace dress hanging in the window that was so stunning and seemed so perfect for me. I arrived promptly at 5 (after missing my stop on the subway due Cloud Atlas and forgetting that I was not getting off at 23rd St to go to work) to a near empty store. There were just the two sales ladies who let me wander the small store and decide which dresses I wanted to bring in the dressing room with me. Another bride showed up shortly after. I was concentrating on the "small" dresses - i.e. not pouffy, while she focused on the more elaborate dresses. What a nice pairing we made.

When I was ready to start trying on, B. was still no where to be found, so instead of starting with the coveted vintage lace dress, I went with a simple lace strapless. It was so light and airy, it felt marvelous. It hung straight to the ground, no tulle underneath, no nothing. Oh glorious. We tied on a pale blue sash for effect. I loved it. B. showed up and loved it. She settled in the velvety day bed chair thing while I made my way through my stash.

I finally got to the dress from the window and surprise, surprise it didn't really work on me. It had an unbelievable keyhole opening in the back that went from the neck to the waist that I loved loved loved. The lace was amazing. And I the dress looked good from the waist down, but there was something wrong with the top - and not just because it was ten sizes too large for me. B. and the sales lady kept telling me it was too much dress for me. I was too small. Whatever that means. It just didn't look right. I was disappointed, but at least I had the first dress to fall back on.

Then I tried on this dress that we had seen another girl trying on when we had stopped in the week before. I had loved it on this other girl and when I tried it on I loved it on me. B. told me afterwards that when she saw me in it she got flutters in her stomach. It was the first dress that felt really really right. It's a textured silk that manages to give me curves in all the right places, where I don't normally have curves. It's Audrey Hepburn looking while still seeming modern. It's just lovely.

So I have an appointment at Nicole Miller I'm going to keep this weekend just to see, but I think I'll probably be stopping in at Adrienne's afterwards.

The Ice Bride

I feel very Dickens-esque at the moment. I'm wearing long underwear under two sweaters, a hat, and scarf while I sit here typing. I've been writing all morning in abject pain - not just the pain of being uninspired, but of being damnably cold. Our landpeople emailed j. last night to say they were just turning on the heat now and to let them know if we were cold. I will not relate here what j. suggested writing back to them, as it is not suitable for a family audience, but needless to say we've been freezing our little tushes off and being the polite people we were raised to be, also nonconfrontational, and highly conscious of current events (hello, gas prices), we're not about to complain just yet. I'm going to keep drinking my tea and hope that when they say they are turning on the heat "now," they mean today and that it is going to come on shortly.

Being so cold, I'm really looking forward to standing around naked today for another dress shopping appointment. I saw the most beautiful and perfect dress in the window at Adrienne's. I'm afraid it a) won't look good on me and b) will be way out of my price range (very, very likely). Silly to stress over it so much before hand, but it's what I'm good at.

Also, was it such a great idea to schedule our wedding for the end of September in Maine? I'm going to be the ice bride. My goosebumps will be so big you'll be able to see them in the photographs. What does the dress matter when I'm going to have to find a white down jacket to cover it up with anyway?

Goodbye, Yellow Diamond's Edge

I just realized that the people on Great Diamond never emailed us back with an estimate. Back in August, the Diamond's Edge restaurant on Great Diamond island off the coast of Portland was almost a sure thing. I had emailed with them about a menu and they seemed very accomodating and chill. The coordinator was going to talk to the chef about doing our family style dinner and then get back to us with the estimate, but nothing. I only stopped badgering her because we did a turnaround and decided to go with Newagen. Maybe someone richer came along for them.

Anyhow, it was sort of cool. My parent's dog liked it at any rate:



And while the setting was really nice, the tent was pretty dingy.

Dress Shopping - I

I would have written earlier, but I was so tired by the time by mom and sister-in-law left, I was in hysterics. In a good way. Seriously, I was hilarious last night. I found everything so amusing. Just ask J. Unfortunately, not good for getting some writing done, schoolwise or blogwise.

Saturday morning saw us up bright and early (I have not slept in since September and it's slowly having an effect on my well-being). I had planned ahead and put money on a metrocard so my mom and K. and I could easily slip onto a train to our destination. I planned on zipping around on the subway all weekend so we could save money. But silly me - it's the weekend! And the subways in New York are a nightmare on the weekend. This is why I don't leave Brooklyn. So the train took us as far as West Fourth and decided to go express. We got out and walked upstairs to the C/E, since we needed to get out at 23rd St. We waited 10 minutes, but that C or E was not coming. It was dangerously close to 9:30, the time of our first appointment, and I hate being late. It was also raining out and I feared there would be no cabs at such an early hour and with the weather what it was. I had to take a chance. So we walked up and of course there were a thousand cabs and we made it to Kleinfeld's right on time. First breakdown averted.

At Kleinfeld's we were assigned to Rita. Rita has been working at Kleinfeld's for 11 years, she knows what she's doing, as she isn't afraif to tell you (again and again and again). Also, Rita can "know" a person within three dresses. That, however, is about all I could understand from Rita because she talks so fast and in such a thick accent that most of the time we just nodded our heads and smiled and hoped that made sense to her.

I made the mistake of showing Rita my folder of pictures of dresses I had torn out of magazines. A few were Monique Lhullier's lace masterpieces, which immediately set our budget in Rita's mind at $5,000. She brought out the very dresses I had pictures of. While gorgeous, they did not look particularly good on me (I'd show you pictures, but photos are not allowed until you purchase the dress.) I also had a picture of this amazing Angel Sanchez dress with a high boatneck and pouffy skirt - not my usual style, but this dress has a '50s feel and there's something about it that makes me think it would look amazing on me and is possibly the perfect dress for me. Kleinfeld's no longer carries Angel Sanchez. They don't have that dress. But, we asked, do they have something similar? Something with a boatneck? Something with a natural waist? Something in organza? "We don't have that dress," Rita said. "You don't want a high neck. I know you." How about somehting in organza? Rita started to get exasperated with us: "We don't have that dress."

"Forget the dress," I said. "Forget it." (It's possible my voice was raised slightly.) "Can you bring me something in organza?"
"Sure," Rita says, and she comes back with more silk.

I also had a picture of an amazing Vera Wang empire dress. Rita informed me that empire waists make you look pregnant, as if I didn't know this was a possibility. I told her I knew that, but I would like to try one on anyway, just to see. "No," Rita said, "I know you. No look good." She scrunched her nose. I asked her to please bring me one anyway. She never did.

Rita brought in a Jessica McCaffrey silk strapless dress with a gathered skirt. It looked beautiful, especially when we tied on a goldish sash. The skirt was huge, but somehow it worked on me. I liked it. Rita made me put on some shoes and go out in the hallway and stand in front of a bigger mirror. I watched all the other brides walking to and fro in their gowns. There was even a model in a flapper wedding dress smiling at everyone and pacing the floor.

Rita insisted on putting a veil on me. "You cry," she promised. "Everyone cry with veil. You see."
"No thanks," I said. "I'm not really into the veil."
"You do no veil?" Rita asked, shocked.
"I don't know yet," I said. "Maybe, but I really don't need to try one on."
"You must. You cry. You see." I waited for it: "I know you."
Rita dug the comb of the veil into the front of my head. The lace trim fell to either side of my face. I looked like the Virgin Mary. Or possibly like I was getting my first communion. I started to laugh.
"No," Rita said. "Wrong one." She put a plainer veil on and again I made a face. I felt absurdly uncomfortable. I wanted out of the veil, out of the dress. I wasn't sure why we were still standing there. Rita moved the veil from the front of my head to the back, digging ever harder to get it to stay in place.
"There," Rita said, "that's better."
Still, no tears.
"Okay," I said and stepped down off the box in front of the mirror. "Maybe we can see something in organza now."

Our second appointment was at Selia Yang's. It was much better. They had organza! And lots of it. Nancy was incredibly nice and there were no veils involved. They also had their dressingn room behind the mirror, so I only had to stand in my underwear for short periods of time with Nancy, who helped me in and out of the dresses, while my mom and K. waited out front. At Kleinfeld's I got to stand around in my underwear in a square box a room with everyone packed in together. Not fun. I saw two possibilities, but as I am not ridiculously in love with them, I'm pretty sure they're not right for me.

I've come to realize that a wedding dress equals a certain shape. I'm not sure I want something that big and unoriginal. I want something that's me.

Next up: Adrienne's (my friend B. discovered an amazing dress in the window and was so kind to call and tell me about it), Vera Wang Bridesmaid, and Nicole Miller. I will be dragging B. to all of these appointments. It was so nice to have my mom and K. to shop with this weekend and it makes me sad they won't be able to come with me every time. I wish it were easier to get here from Maine (read: cheaper).

On another note, we found an amazing bridesmaid dress for K. at Bloomies. It's brown with a sheer overlay that has a floral embroidery over it. "I like it because it doesn't look like a normal bridesmaid dress," Kristen said. I beamed at her. She had it right on the money, what I had been trying to explain about why I was disappointed with all the bride's dresses I had tried on so far. "Oh," she said. "Now I'm starting to understand."

Girls, Girls, Girls

So are they actually going to do any competition on tonight's Next Top Model, or are they just going to yell at each other for the full hour? It's truly fascinating - in small doses. Why do girls have to suck so bad?

Which brings me to the subject of bridesmaids. I have made the controversial decision to only have one. Do I want to turn my wedding weekend into the Top Model house? That's not actually why I went with one and it's nice to knowthat girls tend to get so much more bearable the older we get. I'll have friends that will essentially act as bridesmaids to some extent, they just won't be standing up there next to me and I won't ask them to shell out hundreds and hundreds of dollars for a dress and shoes and all the rest. Having been a bridesmaid three times, while fun and exciting, I now realize what an enormous expense it can be. Plus, J. and I want to have a somewhat intimate wedding. It doesn't feel intimate to me to have fourteen people standing up there. How to keep the guest list intimate is a whole other topic I don't feel prepared to talk about and I'm not sure I ever will.

Ireland, Here We Come

We seem to be coming lots of places these days and never getting anywhere. My friend Ann got engaged on Saturday and is hurrying to the altar at a much faster rate than we are capable of. June 10 to be exact, and get this: in Ireland. I'm saving my pennies.

I could start another post that says, Oregon, Here We Come, but that seems kinda lame. My cousin will be getting married in Oregon in July, or so the rumor goes. Including our wedding, that's three already to attend next year, none of them close. How will I afford all of this? How will my company respond to my request for 6 weeks of vacation? I need 14 days off for Bennington just to start with. Should be interesting.

Moss, Here We Come

Friday at work I was reading a Times article about the Moss design store's online registry. (I'd link to the article, but it has since reverted to Times Select. Bastards.) Genius. Moss's registry runs on a credit. When someone buys something off your registry for you, Moss emails you to see if you want it sent right away, or sent at all. They can hold it at the store indefinitely or you can amass a credit and buy something entirely different. I was afraid their stuff would be too expensive, but they actually have quite a nice range. F*#% Crate and Barrell (though I do love them, too); Moss, here we come.

Oh, Emma

Is every book about unhappy marriages and I'm just realizing it now that I'm engaged? Finished Madame Bovary recently and can't say I loved it. How can adultery be so boring? Oh, I mean I get it - I get why MB is such a classic. There is such a wonderful lack of sentimentality, a coldness in the description that is certainly admirable. I can also take some sort of glee of wonderment in considering all the different ways the subject matter would have created such a stir when it first came out. I was torn in my sympathy toward Emma. I found myself unable to excuse her for her feelings toward Charles or her wealthy aspirations, but I pitied her the sheer boredom of her life. Get a job! Then mightn't she have been able to resist her promiscuous tendencies?

Depressing as they may be, all of these anti-marriage books made me grateful for what I have.

Look how good I am with kids:



(That's my niece gnawing on a raw ear of corn.) I mean, that's something else I've got on Emma, right?

One Week and One Day to the Dresses

So apparently I have to stand around in my underwear with my mother, my sister-in-law, and a complete stranger while this whole dress-trying-on business takes place? I should be dieting right now, let alone for the wedding itself. I'm perfectly happy with my body in the privacy of my own home. I feel a little weird waiting around all naked while this stranger brings in dresses I'm probably going to detest. How can I be sure there isn't something better out there? How can I put my trust into this woman? So one week and one day to go and I'm nervous.

Sally and Jesse's Wedding

I admit that I went into Sally and Jesse's wedding yesterday with a bad attitude. It was raining - already this shows what a terrible friend I am: it was raining on their wedding day and I'm the one who's grumpy - so it made our drive from Brooklyn to West Chester, PA less than stellar and far too long. Plus the ceremony was scheduled to last an hour, which seemed extreme to me. What could possibly go on for an hour if they weren't Catholic? Then we had a strange bus ride to the church. The driver didn't know where he was going (his excuse being he was from Scranton, but I'm not sure why he didn't look up directions before arriving?) and after finally finding the place, backed up into a tree and then got stuck in the mud.

But the church itself was lovely. A large open room with wooden beams, old and communal. Jesse afterwards told me that they thought of the ceremony as a whole production. They had readings, musical performances, singing, and instructional lessons from a varied group of participants before the actual vows and exchange of rings. As all the best weddings are, it was very personal and thoughtful and emotional. If I hadn't had to pee so badly, it certainly wouldn't have felt like an hour.

Sally designed her dress. I wish I had a picture to post because it was beautiful and unique and not white. It was a gold strapless dress over pants with a red sash and a red shrug over top. Keeping with their chinese theme, their colors were red and gold, and Sally managed to look both modern and traditional all at the same time.

I feel like when I go to weddings I'm always looking for ideas to steal. While there were so many aspects of Sally and Jesse's wedding that I loved, nothing is really applicable to the wedding J. and I are planning. I loved what Sally wore, but I still want to go somewhat traditional white for my own dress. And I loved their ceremony, but J. and I still want to keep ours short and sweet. I will steal some of their music. I got some good ideas for the old iPod. Blister in the Sun went over really well and they played my favorite Stevie Wonder - Boogie on Reggae Woman. Not sure if that's the actual title. Their brunch this morning was also really nice, but since everyone will be staying at the same place for our wedding, brunch is sort of a given.

I kept wondering if it's raining like it was yesterday on my own wedding day, will I just burst into tears? I thought the weather was actually quite pretty. It was cozy and warm in the church and I think there's something comforting about being inside with loved ones while it's gray and stormy outside. But I suppose it doesn't help the pictures much.

The Hunt Begins

So, in anticipation of my mother and my sister-in-law (aka maid of honor - and for you sticklers, there will be no matron of honors in my wedding because I think that's a hideous name) visiting in a few weekends, I made a few "appointments" over the weekend. First let me say that all bridal dress shops have terrible web sites. Just the worst. How hard is it to show me some friggin dresses? If you're scared to show me some dresses, I'm really not interested. I have given in to the whole experience, though, and have decided to go to at least one completely intense dress shop and get my own dressing room and my own little attendant and try on all the big pouffy dresses I don't want to spend my money on.

I have settled on Kleinfeld's for this total immersion and have dreaded the decision ever since getting off the phone with them. When you call, they transfer you to the Appointment Department. There's a whole department devoted to making appointments. I've heard that they bus people in from Jersey to visit this store. After you settle on a date and time, they take your credit card number - you are not required to make a minimum purchase, but if you cancel your appointment, they charge you $50. So now I have to go. How could they require me to buy a dress which start at $1500? I found the whole experience rather offensive and I haven't even gone yet.

The other two appointments are at Selia Yang and Nicole Miller. The woman at Nicole Miller, just one woman named Amy handles the bridal stuff - a department of 1! - and she was extremely nice. She scheduled me in two weeks after I had requested because she said they'd be getting new dresses in that week and I'd have a better selection. I feel like Kleinfeld's would have tried to pawn the old junk off on me to keep it off the sale rack and to make room for the new stuff.

All the other stores look entirely too cheesey for me to handle, too expensive, too pouffy, too everything. So instead of making any more appointments, my plan is to wander around Soho and see if regular designers make white dresses that aren't necessarily "wedding" dresses. Crazy idea, I know.

364 Days and Counting

Not really, but yesterday was our negative one anniversary. Fittingly, the Red Sox beat the Yankees to tie for the lead in the ALCS.

Which is now making me realize - what if there's a big game on our wedding day? The best I can hope for is a day game, like today's (a Saturday) and that by the time the ceremony starts we will already be sure of the outcome. But who can ever be sure of a Red Sox outcome even when it’s bottom of the ninth, two outs, no men on base?